Happy Birthday
by Dark enchanter
Summary: Birthday gift to Solitary Shadow. Possibly the most random fic to ever exist. Ever. Read at your own risk.


This fic is dedicated to the wonderful Solitary Shadow, who is celebrating her 14th birthday today. I swear, I went through so many fic ideas before settling on this one, it was seriously not fun. One of them even had Zweegle drinking out of a bowl, like a cat. Yeah. Hopefully this was one of the better ideas!

**Happy Birthday**

"There, that ought to do it!" Klonoa exclaimed, admiring his handiwork. He had, with Lolo and Popka's help, managed to transform the normal, drab living room of their house into the setting for what was sure to be the greatest birthday party of all time. It was Guntz's eighteenth birthday today, and they were determined to make sure it was one for him to remember.

The living room was now almost completely covered in balloons, banners, confetti and streamers. It had taken the four of them all day to do it, but it was finally complete. Now they just had to wait for everyone to arrive, and then the fun could really start.

"I don' know..." Popka mused, "Don' ya think it's a little, much?"

Klonoa blinked at the comment. "How so?" Sighing, Popka made his way over to the light-switch and flicked it to 'off'. As soon as the main lights turned off, several flashing disco lights illuminated the room in swirling colours and flashing lights. Seconds later, a pounding dance soundtrack filled the room, the sound pouring from a set of speakers carefully disguised as cocktail sausages.

"I really don' see Guntz as bein' the disco type, that's all." he shrugged. Klonoa thought it over for a minute before agreeing.

"I guess," He grudgingly admitted as he flicked the lights back to normal. "I just want this to go well, you know?"

"Don't worry about it Klonoa!" Lolo piped up, "I'm sure he'll love it. You'll see."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Thanks Lolo." He walked over to her and hugged her gently. "It means a lot to me."

"Bah!" Popka spat, interrupting the pair. "Enough of this sappy crap, I'm starting to feel sick. Come one, let's make the most o' these disco lights!" Turning the lights back on, he pulled a pair of glow sticks and a whistle from behind his back and began waving the sticks and blowing on the whistle. "Acid rave!" He yelled between blows on the whistle. Klonoa and Lolo just sweat dropped.

* * *

Several hours later, after Popka had passed out in a corner from exhaustion, the rest of the guests had arrived. Among the guests were: Jillius, Leorina, Tat, Chipple, Zweegle and Ngapoko.

"What am I even doing here?" Emperor Jillius asked. "I don't even know the guy. We don't even live in the same universe."

"Nga!" Ngapoko answered.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. What an incredibly well thought out and intellectual argument. I guess I'll be staying after all."

"Wow, a smart and sensitive guy. And my size too. I might have a chance here!" Tat squealed happily.

"I wouldn't bet on it." Zweegle chipped in. "I heard he was gay."

"Aww... Are you sure? It's always the good looking ones..." She pouted.

"I suppose we could always throw Popka at him and find out." Chipple suggested.

"Hey, I heard that!" Popka shouted, lifting his head up off the ground. Suddenly, Klonoa ran into the room, panicking.

"OMG-Guntz-is-here-everyone-be-cool-we-shouldn't-panic-or-talk-in-hyphenated-sections!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Klonoa, calm down! Every thing's going to be fine. Just relax." Lolo attempted to calm him, but failed, miserably.

"Calm? I'm-perfectly-calm-thank-you-for-asking-now-tell-me-where-did-I-put-my-scarf?" Klonoa babbled.

"Uh, you don't even own a scarf..."

Suddenly, the sound of the front door closing was heard, and the room went silent. Footsteps started approaching, and Guntz entered the room, covered from head to foot in blood and carrying a pistol.

"Hey Klonoa, I killed 29 guys today, a new record! You should have..." Guntz suddenly stopped when he saw the room full of people staring at him.

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled, jumping in the air and waving their hands about like idiots.

"What the hell?" Guntz asked, very, very confused.

"We're throwing you a party!" Klonoa exclaimed, pointing at the banner hung from the ceiling. "See?"

"The eighteenth annual Guntz-a-thon?" He read out-loud, seriously confused.

"Yeah, isn't it great?" He beamed.

"Uh... my birthday's not till next week you know?"

"Oh. Shit."

* * *

**One week later...**

"Okay guys, we got it wrong last time, but this time I'm positive we got the right date." Klonoa addressed the guests. "Now, he'll be home any minute, so remember to surprise him!"

"But... these decorations have been up for a week now. I think he's going to know what we're doing." Lolo pointed out.

"Nonsense! I ensured secrecy to the max! He'll never see this coming!" Klonoa assured her.

"I think he'd be able to smell it coming. Has that party food been left out ALL week?"

"...maybe." The whole room animé-feinted. Just as they were beginning to pick themselves off the floor, they heard the door shut again. "Quick, everyone hide!" The whole room scattered, hiding anywhere they could find. Guntz entered the room, this time NOT covered in blood, and everyone dived out from their hiding places.

"Surprise!" They all yelled.

"Agghhh!" Guntz yelled, scared out of his wits. His reflexes instinctively kicked in, causing him to pull his pistol out and fire a round into the nearest guest, that just happened to be Zweegle.

"Agghh, you bastard!" He screamed as he collapsed.

"Oh my God, did you just kill Zweegle?" Chipple asked.

"Don't worry!" Zweegle popped his head up. "I'm undead, so it doesn't matter!"

"Yay!" Everyone cheered out of relief, until Guntz brought up an important point.

"Uh, what are all of you guys doing here?" He asked, a bit confused by this point.

"We're throwing you a surprise party!" Popka squealed.

"Yeah, so sit down and enjoy!" Insisted Tat as she snapped a party hat to his head and forced him into a seat.

"I've got the booze!" Chipple shouted triumphantly, holding the large crate of beer's above his head.

"BOOOZE!" Came a loud cry from seemingly nowhere. Suddenly, Janga crashed through the window, fell into a forward roll, jumped up, snatched the beer and landed on both feet. "Victory is mine!" He proclaimed, ripping open the twenty-four pack and piercing the top of each can with his claws. He lifted the crate over his head and chugged the lot in about a second, before stumbling, drunkenly, over the broken glass and towards the window, which he promptly fell out of and onto the grass below.

"Well, that was random." Klonoa noted. Everyone agreed.

"Well, we still have some ooze-bay left." Chipple noted, holding another crate over his head.

"OOOZE-BAY!"

"Oh dear God..."

* * *

After Janga had been successfully shot in the face and his bloody corpse dragged out into the hall, everyone grabbed one of the remaining beers and began to discuss what they were going to do for the party.

"I think we should play a rousing game of truth or dare!" Tat suggested.

"No, we already did that in family affair, remember?" Lolo pointed out.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Nga!"

"Yeah, that's a great idea Ngapoko, let's play spin the bottle!" Everyone agreed that this would be a wonderful idea. Downing his beer quickly, Popka placed the empty bottle down on the table before reaching for another from the crate. Everyone crowded round the table, and then came the question of who goes first.

"I think it should be Ngapoko who goes first, seeing as it's his idea." Zweegle reasoned. Ngapoko just shrugged his non-existent shoulders and gave the bottle a spin. It span round, and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and and round and round and round and round and then it stopped on Tat. The pair leaned over the table and exchanged in a chaste kiss that left Tat blushing by the end of it.

"Aww... does Tat have a crush?" Lolo taunted, loving the idea of getting her own back against the cat that had made fun of her so often in the past.

"Has anyone noticed I don't even have any lines in this story?" Leorina asked.

"I think it's Zweegle's turn next." Chipple pointed out.

"Hang on, I'm just getting something to eat." The vampire called back from the buffet table. "Hey, these look nice!" He immediately began cramming cocktail sausages into his mouth as fast as he could. After devouring the lot, he returned to the table. "I feel kinda strange, like I've just eaten an incredibly expensive sound system or something."

"It's probably because they're a week old." Jillius reasoned.

"Ah, that'll be it. So, it's my turn now is it?" He span the bottle, and after a lot of spinning it landed on Guntz. Everyone gasped.

The pair stared at each other for about a minute before either of them made a move. Slowly, they both moved their faces towards each other across the table until their lips touched. It was only supposed to be for a second, but, neither could bear to pull themselves away. After a few seconds, Guntz opened his mouth and Zweegle happily inserted his tongue, the pair beginning to kiss wild and passionately. While most of the group scrambled for their camera phones in an attempt to capture this image forever, Klonoa just stared with a look of horror on his face, before he got up from the table and ran off to his room. Guntz heard this and broke the kiss.

"Oh my God, Klonoa!" He also rose from his seat and bolted after the cabbit. Everyone else ignored them and continued drinking beer, especially Popka, who was on his fifth bottle by now.

* * *

When Guntz entered his companions room, he found him lying on the bed, crying. "What's wrong Klonoa?" He asked, concerned for his best friend.

"You were kissing Zweegle! I thought you loved me!" He shouted out, feeling betrayed by what he had just seen the wolf do.

"I do love you." He admitted, stroking the sixteen-year-olds head softly. "I just love Zweegle as well, cause he's so damn hot. Do you understand?" Klonoa sniffled.

"Yeah, I think so. Does this mean what I think it means?" He asked, eyes full of excitement.

"Threesome?"

"Threesome."

It would be a wonderful night indeed.

* * *

Guntz woke up on the couch the next morning, with both his new lovers lying next to him. Yes, it had been a great night indeed, with the dancing, the drunken twister, popcorn fight and meeting up with Elvis's ghost. Looking round the debris that consisted of his living room, and the many party goers sleeping within said debris, he realised how lucky he was to have great friends.

He also realised that Tat would also likely need medical attention, as it appeared she had slept on the pile of broken glass made by Janga as he burst in through the window. Before he could come up with a course of action, however, he heard a large, painful sounding scream erupt from upstairs. Preferring not to know what it was, he opted to fall back asleep and forget about it.

* * *

Upstairs, Popka leapt out of bed screaming, as he realised who he had woken up next to.

"Nga?"

**The end**

* * *

So what did you all think? Feedback would be awesome. And happy Birthday Kim. Even though it isn't for like another hour or something.

Edit: Oh christ, I just woke up an read what I wrte last night, and dear sweet god it's just...blah. I'll have something a little better up tonight after school, I swear. Let this be a lesson to you all though, WUI (Writing Under the Influence) is not cool.


End file.
